Like the guy who invested in a handbrake for his canoe, or an ashtray for his motorcycle...it seemed like such a good idea at the time. But alas...

I have just finished writing a strongly worded email. And now I need a stiff drink.

It reads something like this:

Dear sirs,

Further to my emails of February and March of earlier this year.

Further to my letters of March, June and September 2009.

Further to my letters, phone calls and emails of 2008.

Further to my site inspection and visit of October 2007.

Further to our contract signed in Spring 2006.

Further to the deposit paid in 2006 and further to installment payments 2 and 3 in 2007.

Further to your email dated March 2007, when you informed me that it would be ready that September.

Further to your email that September, informing me that it would not be ready until the following March.

And further to your six emails since then (usually responses to my irate ramblings), sporadically spread out over the intervening period.

I was just wondering, given that it is now fast approaching 2011, if you could cordially, professionally and honestly answer the following question:

When is this blooming apartment going to be finished? Does it exist? Am I dreaming?

The person to whom it is addressed, I have never met. I am beginning to question whether they actually exist at all.

It was 2005 when the mess started.

Life was good. People were unapologetically flush, as opposed to flushed!, with cash and with optimism.

We were surfing the waves, and the good times rolled. Nothing was ever ‘a disgrace’. There was no sense of entitlement, no sense of anger. No marching in the streets, apart from your standard populist part-time Anti-Capitalists who still wear Abercrombie and Fitch jeans.

The X Factor was even enjoyable back then. Taxi drivers were buying duplex apartments in Bulgaria.

It was against this backdrop of heady optimism mixed with gross stupidity that a bank manager friend of mine (I know. I know), called me up at the office:

"Joe, I have only two words to say to you:"

"'Cape' and "Verde'"

I didn’t know what he was on about. It may as well have been a new rock band, niteclub or the next class up from the Mondeo. But quickly the conversation was peppered with terms like ‘sure thing’, ‘no-brainer’, ‘property millionaires’. Blah de blah. De blah.

So not one to rush into such a big decision, I naturally had to do a little bit of research before committing.

So I did a Google search!

• Sunny
• Undeveloped infrastructure
• Relatively politically unstable with a recently installed regime
• Mass unemployment
• 7.5 hours flight to get there
• No direct flights.

It all made perfect sense really.

Yet somehow, one of the Google searches yielded a hugely engaging link that declared Cape Verde as the hottest property investment location in the world.

It’s amazing how phrases like 'untapped beauty', 'charm' and 'unspoiled azure blue' can cod a codder.

So the long and the short of it is that, yes, I muttered back to my bank Manager buddy:

"Yes, I’m in".

Oh I hadn’t mentioned that had I? It was still the same telephone conversation.

He roped 3 others into these purchases. Weren’t we the high powered property developers!

So what were the minor details?

For £78,000 I was buying a 2 bedroom, front line apartment, overlooking the sea, amazing leisure facilities, pool, furniture pack, television. 365 days of sun per year, mild and constant breeze.

Completion in 2.5 years.

5 years have passed. And still no news.

I’ve paid 50% so far. And I feel trapped. To I wear the cost and forget about it? Or do I battle for closure, end up paying more, and will it end in tears? (So far there have only been whines!)

I’ve been down to have a look around in Cape Verde (and that cost me an arm and a leg via Madrid).

That was in 2007. Three full years ago. There seemed to be relatively compelling evidence that something was being built. I mean there was a shell of a building. There was a hole in the ground that had ambitions to become a swimming pool one day. And there were huddles of gentlemen leaning on shovels.

In the three years since, and thanks to the miracle of Google Earth, it appears not a lot of evolving has occurred in my paradise home from home. Although there do appear to be less men leaning on shovels.

As best as I can see it, the only part of the promise that has been fulfilled has been the 365 days of sunshine, the sea view and the mild and constant breeze?

So what am I to do?

I cannot keep on sending irate and ineffectual letters.

There are more questions than answers at the moment.

It does not appear to be a bankrupt project, as the development company is still producing results and numbers and is clearly still a going concern (albeit on a go slow!)

Is it stalling because they have run out of project money?

And because I only pay them the balancing payment on completion. Are they experiencing credit problems that is stalling the progression?

Should I suggest that we, the investors pay a discounted 70% of the final amount owed, so that they can finish the project more cheaply, and perhaps which will also reflect the truer market value?

And when I suggest this, will they just laugh?

I really am stumped because it is all so ‘up in the air’ and really seems so virtual as to almost think that none of this is real.

Now maybe there will be some light at the end of this 5 year tunnel, however, the one lesson, and an expensive one it is, I have learned is:

Never invest in a physical asset that does not exist yet,

That will be located 8 hours from you in a jumbo jet,

With people you have never met,

In a currency you have never heard of.