Humerous Car Insurance Claims

While it's never nice to laugh at the misfortunes of others, some people really don't help themselves. Below are some great extracts from real car insurance claim forms, think of them as something of a guide as to what not to say if you need to claim on your car insurance.

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"A car drove away at speed catching our client who went up in the air and his head went through the windscreen and then rolled off at the traffic lights a good few feet away. The car then sped off and miraculously our client remained conscious and managed to cross the road."

"I am responsible for the accident as I was miles away at the time."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

"I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind".

"On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn't give way."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"Three men approached me from the minibus. I thought they were coming to apologise. Two of the men grabbed hold of me by my arms and the first slapped me several times across the face. I kneed the man in the groin but didn't connect properly so I kicked him in the shin."

A customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who had convulsions and was blocked by a tanker."

"Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?"

"No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened."